How to Win People Over Without Manipulation or Coercion (The Five Principles of Ultimate Influence) – An interview with best-selling author, Bob Burg

Feb 18, 2014

Wow. I just finished a call with best-selling author and speaker, Bob Burg, and I’m super excited to share it with you. We talked to Bob a few months back, mainly about his book, co-authored with John David Mann, The Go-Giver. This time around we’re talking about his newest book, Adversaries into Allies.

I kid you not, I put this right up there with the likes of How to Win Friends and Influence People and Think and Grow Rich as a staple of anyone’s library. It has nuggets of wisdom throughout and is a perfect compliment to Robert Cialdini’s best-selling book, Influence.

Adversaries into Allies focuses on THE FIVE PRINCIPLES OF ULTIMATE INFLUENCE:

  1. Control your own emotions
  2. Understand the clash of belief systems
  3. Acknowledge their ego
  4. Set the proper frame
  5. Communicate with tact and empathy

In the conversation, Bob shares some profound insights, including:

  • How to understand the difference between Persuasion and Manipulation
  • How influence is an “other” focus and manipulation or coercion is an “I” focus.
  • How to move a person to action
  • How to control your emotions when influencing others
  • How to reframe any conversation or situation and win others over


Some more great wisdom from Bob:

"Every single day we are faced with the task of persuading others. It could be as simple as dealing successfully with a rude customer service rep. It might be closing the sale with the big but elusive client. It might be something as mundane as getting your spouse to take out the trash!

And every single day, we face resistance. We might even see the other person as an adversary and tend to resort to manipulation and coercion in an effort to win, to get our way. But this mentality will net only short term results… if even that! Leaving the other person feeling coerced or taken advantage of will only cause their resistance in the future and possibly even elicit their sabotage in the present.

There’s a better way. A much better way that creates both immediate and long-term sustainable results. Helping people make decisions that are not only in your best interest, but in alignment with their best interests as well, is the way to go.

Doing this effectively, consistently, and predictably, however, takes influence.

Great influencers — whether CEOs, entrepreneurs, sales professionals, clergy, parents, teachers, etc. — seem to have a knack for getting the results they want from people, but in a way that everyone is happy. And, these leaders are persuasive in the most positive and benevolent sense of the word.

And, while, for some it might be natural, for most of us it’s a set of learned skills. Fortunately, they are both simple to learn and easy to apply.

The technical skills of any profession are vitally important. Without them, you’re not even in the game. However, even with them, you’re only in the game. Those who have mastered the people skills obtained through the Five Principles of Ultimate Influence are nine steps ahead in the game…in a ten-step game.

And their lives, and their business, are a lot more fun, a lot less stressful, and a lot more profitable. And, that can be you!

Big thanks for listening!


P.S. – Had some issues with skype on my side so don’t mind my voice. Pay attention to the amazing wisdom Bob brings to the table!


Join the mailing list to receive updates from our team!
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.

We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.